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Preference and Power

Delivered by Bruce Arnold, April 20, 2008
At the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, New Bern, NC

When I was in high school, we lived in a lovely old paper mill town called Chillicothe , Ohio .  Paper mills are usually placed near forests so they have access to lots of trees, and Chillicothe was no exception.  It was at the confluence of the

Scioto River and Paint Creek, right smack-dab on the terminal moraine – that place where the glaciers stopped grinding everything flat at the end of the last ice age, 10,000 years or so ago.  From Chillicothe north to the Hudson Bay and west to the Rockies , the plains stretched like a tabletop.  To the south and east, nothing but hills and woods, clear to the Blue Ridge .

            Logging was not what you’d call big business; it was business, though, a steady one, feeding the paper mill.  I worked as a logger one summer, on a 10-man crew.  It was good work, out in the woods and the sun and the rain, the wind and the wildlife.  We ourselves were not clear-cutting.  I believe it was because we did not grind the logs on-site.  We hauled them to a wood lot at the pulp mill where they were chipped.  Hauling smaller trees would have been more difficult.  If you look at log trucks on the roads around here, you’ll see that they are all good-size logs.

            There were outfits that did clear-cutting, though, and one day we woke up to find them at work on a hillside that was visible from a main highway.  And oh, there was wailing, and grinding of teeth!

            Apparently clear-cutting was OK so long as it took place back in the hollers.  But out where we could see it?  Outrage!

            My girl-friend’s father was a forester with the paper company, and he explained it to me.  Clear-cutting, he said, was no different from a forest fire.  It looks ugly as sin.  But in the first couple of years, weeds and small woody plants make a resurgence, such as could not grow under a mature forest canopy.  They provide seeds that feed a lot of birds and small game, and tons of organic material as they die back in the fall, enriching the soil.  The abundance of small game attracts predator species, such as fox and hawk, and they have a population boost.  As young saplings grow, they provide tender forage and cover for deer and larger grazing species, who also get a boost.  And so on through successive stages, each building on the one before.

Twenty years later, you could not distinguish that swatch from any of the rest of the surrounding forest.  It was not planted in tidy rows of pine, as is often done, but allowed to re-establish as the same mixed hardwood forest it had been.

I’m not saying clear-cutting is always and everywhere a good thing.  But clearly, it is not always and everywhere a bad thing.  All the points that the protesters made were proven wrong.  There was not massive erosion.  Wildlife did not desert the area.  And perhaps most relevant, the “ugly gash” was not a blight on the landscape forever.  It was not a blight for two years, once re-growth was visibly established.

            That’s the salient point.  It was ugly.  People didn’t like it.  But they wouldn’t just say that.  It had to be wrong, because they wanted it stopped.  And we all know, as adults, that stamping our feed and saying, “I don’t want it!  I don’t want it!  I don’t want it!” doesn’t work.  But – oh yes, but if I tell you that I’m saving the Earth, or Working for World Peace, or – check this one out – “It’s for the Children,” then by golly, you have to give me what I want.

            “You have to give me what I want.”  Take that out of any given context, and just let the bald statement roll around on your tongue.  “You have to give me what I want.”  Imagine it being said by your made – your teen-ager – your worst enemy – or just the jerk in the next office.  Set aside whether you want to be forgiving, understanding, or even just avoid a conflict – let the bare statement roll around your mind for a while, and be honest with yourself.  It rankles, doesn’t it? 

            When what I want becomes what I must have, and you have to give it to me, we have a   problem.  From the sublime – such as the 150 years’ battle between capitalism and communism – to the ridiculous – which lamps will we have on the walls here in the sanctuary?  -- so much comes down to “because I said so.”   Not “because I said so,”    “because I said so.”

            Now, if you’re nodding your head and thinking about some else you know who does this, then you have missed the point.  You can’t make the other guy stop.  You have to see for yourself the ways you convert desires into “oughts” or “should.”  And there’s a real simple way to discover this.  Every time you say “should” or “ought,” try substituting “I wish” instead.  So when I might have said, “John, we ought to do something about the hum in the sound system,” instead I could say, “John, I wish we’d do something about the sound system.”

            Because the word “should” makes it sound like a moral imperative.  If I should do something and I don’t, I’m a bad, bad boy.  But if you say you wish I would do something, and I don’t, I haven’t been bad, I’ve just come to a different set of conclusions.  “I wish” is more honest, more clear, more direct, more accurate.

            There has been a lot of tension around here lately.  Most of it has something to do with the building effort.  If we look into our hearts, we will see that what we take to be so self-evidently imperative, is really a preference.

            How does this translate into action?  Well, for one thing, while attending meetings, we don’t have to voice an opinion on everything.  Just because an idea occurs to me, does not mean that I really know anything about the topic.  Some of us tend to over-think things, to micro-manage every last tiny detail.  This is just about control, not quality.  If you find yourself saying, “I just want it to be the best” to yourself – or others – frequently, then it’s about control, not quality.  When it’s about quality, you pick your battles better than that.  If you find yourself getting upset about decisions frequently, it’s not because you care too deeply, but because you’re not getting your own way.  This isn’t psychopathology, folks.  This is plain old human nature.  If you find yourself never saying “No,” it’s not because you’re dedicated, it’s because you don’t think it can run without you.  If you find yourself blaming other people for the way you feel, it’s because you haven’t been honest with yourself about your real motivations.

            These are hard lessons.  They require us to dig deep.  But this is the road to spiritual growth and maturity.  There is no other.  A church is a caldron in which we put ourselves.  Like the old alchemists, we can turn base metal – our immature passions and power plays – into purest gold, the gold of harmony, of forbearance, forgiveness, of connectedness, of gracefulness.  The alchemical quintessence – the catalyst that turns base metal into gold, and not into dross – is love.  We have to love each other more than we love our ideas.  We have to love each other more than our pet projects.  We have to love each other more than material things.  We have to love each other because, in the end, it’s all we really have.

 


 

 

Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of New Bern

1120 Glenburnie Road

New Bern, North Carolina

252-636-5111

email: UUFNB@yahoo.com